Three Signs You're Doing Well in Youth Ministry

Sunday night was my first real affirmation that I've been doing Youth Ministry the right way (or at least well enough!) One of my students approached me a couple of weeks ago and asked if he could host a night of prayer and fasting after youth group.  This dude is a hardcore disciple, so I expected this from him - he's a huge leader. This is number one.

1) You see students stepping up into leadership roles without prodding. 

Now this night of prayer/fasting took place this past Sunday.  I admit - I didn't expect a large amount of people to show up.  We have a 6th-12th grade youth group (the majority of which are middle schoolers), so a lot of them are still getting to know God for the first time.  A lot of them come for the games and fellowship at this point more than God - or so I thought.

2) People show up - not only for the games and fellowship - but for God.  About 75% of the youth group stayed after youth for the night of prayer and fasting.

Now this last part is my favorite.  I had my guitar out and I was leading the youth in some worship.  The student leader, after a song, asked me to keep playing.  While I was playing "mood music" he wanted everyone to pair up with someone they would usually not feel comfortable with and pray together.

3) People prayed for each other.  No regards for cliques, popularity, crushes, etc...just prayer.  At the end, they prayed for me.  I didn't ask - I just got prayed over.  And it was awesome.

Now I"m not saying I'm the best youth minister in the world or anything like that - don't worry.  I am just blogging this because it's pretty awesome that I'm seeing the fruits of God's ministry on a large scale.  It's exciting to get that little extra motivational push to keep me excited about ministry.

How Should We Be Living?

I was troubled by a Bible Study tonight with some very close friends.

We're studying Jeremiah and we were discussing idols - what makes an idol? Can you have idols that are not above God but are sill frowned upon in His eyes? And various other questions.

I said something like this - "I really don't think we should even do things like video games and such (a big source of entertainment for our group).  It's my personal opinion, but why do something if it doesn't bring us closer to God?"

It may not have been exactly that (as I was working on homework in the background...whoops) but I hope that's the point they all heard from this.  Anywho...

Not one person agreed with me.  Their immediate reaction was to defend video games (in the case Black Ops) as a legitimate form of fellowship. Which it very well may be, I don't know as I'm a PC gamer - not an XBox live kind of guy.  I did state that this was my personal opinion a few times, though, and just felt attacked by my thoughts.

I often feel as though we live a life that caters way too much to ourselves (myself included).  I honestly feel as though the things I do strictly for MY personal pleasure shouldn't even be a thought in my mind.  Video games - shouldn't play them.  Television - shouldn't watch it.  Reading (books other than the Bible/regarding God's word) - shouldn't do it.  Maybe this is extreme, but I really feel as though it is how Jesus would have me live.  I feel as though he would ask me to give up all that crap and follow him.  I can do this through fellowship, scripture, prayer, fasting, evangelism, etc...I think that I would have plenty on my daily plate if I did this.

But am I wrong?  I never give up these things because I always hear positive affirmation saying that it's okay to indulge in these earthly pleasures.  They're relaxing, fun, exciting, etc...but in the deepest part of my heart, something says that maybe I should look to God to find relaxation, fun, and excitement.  I really want some input here...I'm still very on the fence about this idea.  

Time is of the Essence

My last post, "How long", asked youth workers to comment on how long they think a typical youth worker should stay in ministry at one given Church.  I had a lot of great responses, but from my own opinions and what I gathered from the comments, this is what I think. 

- Youth ministers should try their best to stay at one church for a full cycle.  A youth ministry cycle is seeing your youngest class graduate high school.  I do a 6th-12th grade group, so I intend on seeing the 6th graders graduate.  If I did an 8th-12th grade group, seeing the 8th graders graduate.  Here are a couple of reasons why I think a cycle is a good idea:

     1) It shows your youth that you care.  That you're not in YM as a gateway job.  It shows them that you genuinely care about them and their relationship with Christ.  They deserve to have one youth minister - not 3-4.  

     2) It helps the youth worker to see how ministry is from start to finish.  If you go in and spend a year at a Church, how will you be experienced enough to even know what it's like to have a 5 or 6 year relationship with one youth?  They will never completely open up to you - they will never fully trust you.  Give yourself the experience and the relationships that come with it. 

- While I think that a cycle should be standard practice of every youth worker, there are a few exceptions to "breaking the cycle".  

  

     1) God calls you elsewhere.  If you're not called to be at the Church that you're at, get out as soon as possible!  Let God put the right person there.  The youth deserve that!

     2) Family.  If your wife gets a new job, needs to move for her parents, school system is terrible for your children, etc.  Your youth deserve the best you can give them.  In order to give them your best you need to first focus on the family.  Family first, youth second. Always. 

I felt inspired to post this after I came to work at Unity Chapel.  The Jr's and Sr's have had 4 youth pastors before me.  They always feel like they're there to babysit them and plan fun trips.  Not a one of the youth I have had here have said that they think the previous youth workers were here to help them grow in Christ.  That needs to change. 

How long?

I have been a youth minister in a paid position for about a year now.  I have always thought the best amount of time to be in a youth ministry position is around six years.  That way you can see your 6th graders graduate from high school.  To me, that is a complete youth ministry cycle.

What do you think? Is that enough? Too long?

I am interested in hearing your preconceived thoughts on minimum time and maximum time at a Church.  Obviously it's God's call, but this is more a of a "rule of thumb" kind of question. Not a calling question.  Thanks. 

Grow Some Balls.

I've been playing around with this idea for pretty much the entire summer.  The idea that our faith in Christ should be more than our faith in what culture says.  Here is where it all came from:

I was at Ichthus in June with a group of Churches.  As always, Ichthus is a great time.  I love going there. I love the atmosphere, the people, the music - all of it.  Every year it seems as though we get sent back to our vehicles in the middle of a concert because there is a severe weather alert of some kind.  This year was no exception, but it was a bit different.

We were at the evening worship session.  The speaker was giving an inspiring message.  At the end of the message, he challenged us to run to the cross.  I waited to see if my youth would lead me there.  They did.  They said, "We're going Tom.  Are you coming?"  Man was that awesome.  We got there with thousands and thousands of people crowded around two crosses.  We were praying, weeping, rejoicing - how amazing.

Then - in the middle of all of this - in the middle of the prayer - the director of Ichthus came up and said something like this "Wow, God is awesome.  He is doing great things.  Unfortunately there is a severe weather   warning and I need to send you all back to your cars for your own safety."  I was a bit bummed, but student safety is important, right?

So we sat in the cars for about an hour, the weather cleared, and we went back to concerts.  I am so lucky I went to the right concert.

The band was Sleeping Giant.  An awesome, mosh-worthy metal band.  Thom Green is the lead vocalist for the band.  Before he started playing his awesome metalthatcanmeltface-ness music (yes, it's a word...look it up) he spoke some of the most inspiring and true I have ever heard.  He said something like this:

"What kind of believers are we if we trust the weatherman more than Jesus Christ?"

He went on for awhile talking about this concept and literally told all of the Christians in the crowd that they needed to grow some balls and worship Jesus - rain or shine.

Wow. How amazing is this?  I was so challenged by his words.  Our faith has become so weak.  In Luke 8:22-25 Jesus says "Where is your faith?" in regards to a storm while the disciples were on a boat.  The boat was "filling with water and they were in real danger".  Yet Jesus still called them out on their faith.

Why should it be different today?


Think about it.  Yes - student safety is important.  But what would Jesus have done at that cross if He was leading them?  Would He have gone back to the car, or stayed and continued to worship?  Would he have submitted to the authority of the weatherman, or to the authority of His father?  Why should we do anything different than Jesus would have done in this situation?


I am still inspired by Thom's words that night.  They still inspire and convict me.  After the fact we learned that the storm literally went around the festival.  It just split in two and went around us.  But that was just a coincidence, right?  It surely was not God working.  *wink wink*

It Just Doesn't Feel Right

"So pay attention to how you hear.  To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given.  But for those who are not listening, even what they think they understand will be taken away from them." - Luke 8:18

I came across this passage in my morning quiet time.  I usually do my quiet times before I even touch my computer, but today I turned it on early as soon as I read this.  I have read Luke before, but this verse has never really stuck out to me.  I wanted to get some input on what it means.


If we listen to the teachings of Jesus Christ, we will be given more understanding.  More understanding into God's mystery (if you look back at at Luke 8:10 it says "You are permitted to understand the secrets of the Kingdom of God".  Secrets literally means mystery - that's where I'm pulling this from).  That part makes sense to me. 


The next part is where I admit I'm confused.  "But for those who are not listening, even what they think they understand will be taken away from them."  Now when I read this the only logical conclusion is that they're not being let in on the mystery.  They don't get to know about the Kingdom of God and its mysteries.  When I think of someone who "thinks they understand" I think of a lukewarm Christian who thinks that knowing about Jesus and going to Church is it.   But when they pass on, they will realize that there was indeed more to be done. 


I don't think my interpretation of this passage is too far off, but I wanted some input.  The way I described the passage above just doesn't feel right. I don't know why, necessarily...it just doesn't sit well with me.  


So - am I right? Am I off? Can you add some crazy awesome knowledge? 

I want to, but it's late...

I'm sure everyone in youth ministry has experienced this, but I feel like I get it all of the time around this church - more than any other church I have been with.

Maybe it's because I'm on staff now and not just a volunteer.  I'm talking about invitations.  I get invited everywhere.  Most of the time I try my best to be there - sporting events, music events, lunches and dinners, coffees, etc..  I enjoy spending time with the people in my church; especially youth.

There is one time, however, that I almost always say no.  Sunday after youth group.  We have our Sunday youth group (FUEL) from 5-7 every Sunday night.  I often get invited by the youth to go out afterwards.  That's when the words come through my head..."I want to, but it's late...".

It's literally the only time I almost always reject the invitation.  I do this for a couple of reasons:

1) It's late!  True, it's only 7pm, but I have to lock up the Church and clean up a bit before I go home.  And I've already worked about 12 hours today..I'm beat!

2) To give them time away from me.  I see the youth all day Sunday and as much as I like to hang with them as much as possible, sometimes I think that the need time away from me.  They need fellowship with each other without me there.  They need to have God talks among themselves without me bringing it up.  Plus, I'm a downer on Sunday nights anyway.  I always just want to sleep!

So what do you think? When do you say no to hanging out with youth, if ever?  Do you think this is a healthy thing to do, or am I just crazy?  (I don't have a wife or kids...just a dog and a cat!).  Lets get some of that awesome feedback.

Overcoming the Cats and Chickens

Today, I stepped way out of my comfort zone.

Let me start out by saying that chickens creep me out.  As do cats with claws.  And fish, but they’re irrelevant.

I grew up at Noblesville First UMC - a large church with the biggest youth group in the town.  It’s a nice suburb of Indianapolis, IN.  Great church, great people, but WAY different than where I work now.

I am currently the Director of Youth Ministries at Unity Chapel UMC in Ramsey, IN.  Ever heard of it? Didn’t think so. 

Anyway, back to the animals.  Chickens scare me (rather irrationally, I suppose) because I always think they’re going to peck my face off.  No idea where that comes from.

Clawed cats scare me because as a kid I got clawed in the face by one.  De-clawed = no problem.  But clawed makes me cringe!

And though the fish are irrelevant, I still feel the need to explain.  My grandparents in Minnesota live on a lake.  Big fish would rub againt me as a kid and I thought I was going to be eaten. 

Now that you know my crazy fears of creatures much smaller than I, I can get to my point.  Yesterday I was dropping off a volunteer that helps with FUEL (our youth group) at his house.  I thought I lived in the country until I got to his house! 20 chickens, 19 cats, 2 guineas, 1 dog, 1 calf, and a 700lb pig greeted me when I got there.  I was amazed - and a little scared.

But by asking him to show me around instead of booking it out of there, I was able to further connect with one of my best volunteers in ministry.  His sister, a youth, came out and hung out for awhile, too.  Then his parents.

Through sucking up my dumb fears I was able to build personal relationships with four different people.  I love how God works!

And I even fed a calf.  Pretty sweet, I know! 

Step out of your comfort zone more often and God will reward you. 

Move Squirrels! (It's a metaphor, not an A.D.D. rant)

This is my motorcycle after my near death experience today. Okay, not really, but it felt like that’s what happened!

In all honesty my “wreck” today was nothing big at all. I saw a squirrel on the road and honked - expecting it to move.  It didn’t move.  I later found out that it was a log.  

How often do we see squirrels when dealing with youth ministry?

 I can’t tell you how often I’ll have an idea and expect it to move when it instead holds completely still.  I think, “Hey, this program will be great for our group”, or maybe, “I think my youth would love this event!”.  So I don’t slow down.  I keep going at it head on, honking my horn the whole way.

It’s not until I hit the squirrel and fall down that I find out that it was a log the whole time

This can be avoided in youth ministry.  Instead of taking every new program, event, or idea head on - slow down.  Make a habit of taking corners slowly and examining your “squirrels” on a deeper level.  

After all, no one wants to have a ministry filled with logs.

*Just so you all know, my motorcycle (Rosita) is okay.  Minor cosmetic damage. Oh, and I’m fine.  Minor cosmetic damage to my right arm, too.

Getting caught up in the culture

One thing I think is so true of youth ministry these days is that we sometimes get too caught up in the culture of youth ministry.

Don’t get me wrong, the culture is a wonderful thing.  It’s when the culture gets in the way of the calling.  I have been a youth minister for about 9 1/2 months now.  I am very new.  I was a volunteer for 6 years through high school and college, but as soon as I landed a “real” gig as a youth minister, I becameimmersed in the culture. 

I am still finishing school.  I am a Marine reservist.  I have a girlfriend.  I have to keep up with family.  I was too busy to go out and find a group of people to meet and talk with about ministry, so I jumped into the culture.  The youth ministry culture consists of twitter, facebook, blogs, and now google+.  You must have all of these and maybe even flickr and some other things.  You NEED a smartphone.  A IPad is becoming a must.  If you ever do get away from your digital world to meet with real people then it must be at a coffee house.  Everyone else has to know what you’re doing all the time and they have to let you know that what you’re doing for your ministry is good.

I know, I know.  I’m being a drama queen of sorts.  I am exaggerating quite a bit on a lot of my requirements, but it’s partially true.  There is an extremely appealing culture to the youth ministry world.  We love it.  We eat it up.  And (dare I say) sometimes we would rather be involved in our digital youth ministry community than with our real youth ministry community - the youth.  

This is not true of all youth leaders everywhere, but I have a feeling I’m not the only one who has just eaten up the culture of youth ministry.  It’s fantastic.  Just don’t let wanting to be involved in the culture get in the way of you wanting to be involved with the youth.

The two can go hand in hand very very well if they are balanced correctly.  Pray for discernment as you find that balance.  God Bless folks.