Three Signs You're Doing Well in Youth Ministry

Sunday night was my first real affirmation that I've been doing Youth Ministry the right way (or at least well enough!) One of my students approached me a couple of weeks ago and asked if he could host a night of prayer and fasting after youth group.  This dude is a hardcore disciple, so I expected this from him - he's a huge leader. This is number one.

1) You see students stepping up into leadership roles without prodding. 

Now this night of prayer/fasting took place this past Sunday.  I admit - I didn't expect a large amount of people to show up.  We have a 6th-12th grade youth group (the majority of which are middle schoolers), so a lot of them are still getting to know God for the first time.  A lot of them come for the games and fellowship at this point more than God - or so I thought.

2) People show up - not only for the games and fellowship - but for God.  About 75% of the youth group stayed after youth for the night of prayer and fasting.

Now this last part is my favorite.  I had my guitar out and I was leading the youth in some worship.  The student leader, after a song, asked me to keep playing.  While I was playing "mood music" he wanted everyone to pair up with someone they would usually not feel comfortable with and pray together.

3) People prayed for each other.  No regards for cliques, popularity, crushes, etc...just prayer.  At the end, they prayed for me.  I didn't ask - I just got prayed over.  And it was awesome.

Now I"m not saying I'm the best youth minister in the world or anything like that - don't worry.  I am just blogging this because it's pretty awesome that I'm seeing the fruits of God's ministry on a large scale.  It's exciting to get that little extra motivational push to keep me excited about ministry.

Time is of the Essence

My last post, "How long", asked youth workers to comment on how long they think a typical youth worker should stay in ministry at one given Church.  I had a lot of great responses, but from my own opinions and what I gathered from the comments, this is what I think. 

- Youth ministers should try their best to stay at one church for a full cycle.  A youth ministry cycle is seeing your youngest class graduate high school.  I do a 6th-12th grade group, so I intend on seeing the 6th graders graduate.  If I did an 8th-12th grade group, seeing the 8th graders graduate.  Here are a couple of reasons why I think a cycle is a good idea:

     1) It shows your youth that you care.  That you're not in YM as a gateway job.  It shows them that you genuinely care about them and their relationship with Christ.  They deserve to have one youth minister - not 3-4.  

     2) It helps the youth worker to see how ministry is from start to finish.  If you go in and spend a year at a Church, how will you be experienced enough to even know what it's like to have a 5 or 6 year relationship with one youth?  They will never completely open up to you - they will never fully trust you.  Give yourself the experience and the relationships that come with it. 

- While I think that a cycle should be standard practice of every youth worker, there are a few exceptions to "breaking the cycle".  

  

     1) God calls you elsewhere.  If you're not called to be at the Church that you're at, get out as soon as possible!  Let God put the right person there.  The youth deserve that!

     2) Family.  If your wife gets a new job, needs to move for her parents, school system is terrible for your children, etc.  Your youth deserve the best you can give them.  In order to give them your best you need to first focus on the family.  Family first, youth second. Always. 

I felt inspired to post this after I came to work at Unity Chapel.  The Jr's and Sr's have had 4 youth pastors before me.  They always feel like they're there to babysit them and plan fun trips.  Not a one of the youth I have had here have said that they think the previous youth workers were here to help them grow in Christ.  That needs to change. 

How long?

I have been a youth minister in a paid position for about a year now.  I have always thought the best amount of time to be in a youth ministry position is around six years.  That way you can see your 6th graders graduate from high school.  To me, that is a complete youth ministry cycle.

What do you think? Is that enough? Too long?

I am interested in hearing your preconceived thoughts on minimum time and maximum time at a Church.  Obviously it's God's call, but this is more a of a "rule of thumb" kind of question. Not a calling question.  Thanks. 

I want to, but it's late...

I'm sure everyone in youth ministry has experienced this, but I feel like I get it all of the time around this church - more than any other church I have been with.

Maybe it's because I'm on staff now and not just a volunteer.  I'm talking about invitations.  I get invited everywhere.  Most of the time I try my best to be there - sporting events, music events, lunches and dinners, coffees, etc..  I enjoy spending time with the people in my church; especially youth.

There is one time, however, that I almost always say no.  Sunday after youth group.  We have our Sunday youth group (FUEL) from 5-7 every Sunday night.  I often get invited by the youth to go out afterwards.  That's when the words come through my head..."I want to, but it's late...".

It's literally the only time I almost always reject the invitation.  I do this for a couple of reasons:

1) It's late!  True, it's only 7pm, but I have to lock up the Church and clean up a bit before I go home.  And I've already worked about 12 hours today..I'm beat!

2) To give them time away from me.  I see the youth all day Sunday and as much as I like to hang with them as much as possible, sometimes I think that the need time away from me.  They need fellowship with each other without me there.  They need to have God talks among themselves without me bringing it up.  Plus, I'm a downer on Sunday nights anyway.  I always just want to sleep!

So what do you think? When do you say no to hanging out with youth, if ever?  Do you think this is a healthy thing to do, or am I just crazy?  (I don't have a wife or kids...just a dog and a cat!).  Lets get some of that awesome feedback.

Getting caught up in the culture

One thing I think is so true of youth ministry these days is that we sometimes get too caught up in the culture of youth ministry.

Don’t get me wrong, the culture is a wonderful thing.  It’s when the culture gets in the way of the calling.  I have been a youth minister for about 9 1/2 months now.  I am very new.  I was a volunteer for 6 years through high school and college, but as soon as I landed a “real” gig as a youth minister, I becameimmersed in the culture. 

I am still finishing school.  I am a Marine reservist.  I have a girlfriend.  I have to keep up with family.  I was too busy to go out and find a group of people to meet and talk with about ministry, so I jumped into the culture.  The youth ministry culture consists of twitter, facebook, blogs, and now google+.  You must have all of these and maybe even flickr and some other things.  You NEED a smartphone.  A IPad is becoming a must.  If you ever do get away from your digital world to meet with real people then it must be at a coffee house.  Everyone else has to know what you’re doing all the time and they have to let you know that what you’re doing for your ministry is good.

I know, I know.  I’m being a drama queen of sorts.  I am exaggerating quite a bit on a lot of my requirements, but it’s partially true.  There is an extremely appealing culture to the youth ministry world.  We love it.  We eat it up.  And (dare I say) sometimes we would rather be involved in our digital youth ministry community than with our real youth ministry community - the youth.  

This is not true of all youth leaders everywhere, but I have a feeling I’m not the only one who has just eaten up the culture of youth ministry.  It’s fantastic.  Just don’t let wanting to be involved in the culture get in the way of you wanting to be involved with the youth.

The two can go hand in hand very very well if they are balanced correctly.  Pray for discernment as you find that balance.  God Bless folks.