I want to, but it's late...

I'm sure everyone in youth ministry has experienced this, but I feel like I get it all of the time around this church - more than any other church I have been with.

Maybe it's because I'm on staff now and not just a volunteer.  I'm talking about invitations.  I get invited everywhere.  Most of the time I try my best to be there - sporting events, music events, lunches and dinners, coffees, etc..  I enjoy spending time with the people in my church; especially youth.

There is one time, however, that I almost always say no.  Sunday after youth group.  We have our Sunday youth group (FUEL) from 5-7 every Sunday night.  I often get invited by the youth to go out afterwards.  That's when the words come through my head..."I want to, but it's late...".

It's literally the only time I almost always reject the invitation.  I do this for a couple of reasons:

1) It's late!  True, it's only 7pm, but I have to lock up the Church and clean up a bit before I go home.  And I've already worked about 12 hours today..I'm beat!

2) To give them time away from me.  I see the youth all day Sunday and as much as I like to hang with them as much as possible, sometimes I think that the need time away from me.  They need fellowship with each other without me there.  They need to have God talks among themselves without me bringing it up.  Plus, I'm a downer on Sunday nights anyway.  I always just want to sleep!

So what do you think? When do you say no to hanging out with youth, if ever?  Do you think this is a healthy thing to do, or am I just crazy?  (I don't have a wife or kids...just a dog and a cat!).  Lets get some of that awesome feedback.

Getting caught up in the culture

One thing I think is so true of youth ministry these days is that we sometimes get too caught up in the culture of youth ministry.

Don’t get me wrong, the culture is a wonderful thing.  It’s when the culture gets in the way of the calling.  I have been a youth minister for about 9 1/2 months now.  I am very new.  I was a volunteer for 6 years through high school and college, but as soon as I landed a “real” gig as a youth minister, I becameimmersed in the culture. 

I am still finishing school.  I am a Marine reservist.  I have a girlfriend.  I have to keep up with family.  I was too busy to go out and find a group of people to meet and talk with about ministry, so I jumped into the culture.  The youth ministry culture consists of twitter, facebook, blogs, and now google+.  You must have all of these and maybe even flickr and some other things.  You NEED a smartphone.  A IPad is becoming a must.  If you ever do get away from your digital world to meet with real people then it must be at a coffee house.  Everyone else has to know what you’re doing all the time and they have to let you know that what you’re doing for your ministry is good.

I know, I know.  I’m being a drama queen of sorts.  I am exaggerating quite a bit on a lot of my requirements, but it’s partially true.  There is an extremely appealing culture to the youth ministry world.  We love it.  We eat it up.  And (dare I say) sometimes we would rather be involved in our digital youth ministry community than with our real youth ministry community - the youth.  

This is not true of all youth leaders everywhere, but I have a feeling I’m not the only one who has just eaten up the culture of youth ministry.  It’s fantastic.  Just don’t let wanting to be involved in the culture get in the way of you wanting to be involved with the youth.

The two can go hand in hand very very well if they are balanced correctly.  Pray for discernment as you find that balance.  God Bless folks.